Ahh just when things are starting to look up a terrible thing happened!! I got suspended at work! Ahaha. It’s not like I misbehaved or something. I made a careless mistake that led to something serious. I think it’s because of my clumsiness. But Adam believes I am in no way at fault (thank you for cheering me up!!). It was just truly unfortunate, I guess. It’s been three days now, and still no update regarding the ‘investigation’. It’s really put me down and made me doubt my self since I’ve been working really hard to ace my under-probation performance. My supervisor knows how much I want to progress and he’s always been pleased with my work ethics, I’m so sad as well to let him down.
I don’t know if this will lead to termination but I guess I should start looking for another job. This time off has given me some time to reflect why I shouldn’t be sulking and convince myself that if ever, this is just another chapter and even though it’s hard and painful sometimes, I do have to trust the process (in the big scheme of things).
Adam rushed to me when he found out, he's been cheering me up and giving me moral support all this time, so even though I'm worried and sad, I really can't be that down. *u*
The biggest thing I feel guilty about if ever I lose my job, would be that I convinced my mom to move here in London because It’s nearer where I work haha.
Last Wednesday, I received a call from the office asking me to discuss the matter. As of yesterday, they officially welcomed me back with the good news that they're no longer taking the matter further. I am happy and sad at the same time. Happy that I won't lose the job and current stability it offers. Sad that I still don't have anywhere to go and a part of me wants them sack me any way? I know I'm not making sense. It's a conflict.